Finalcom Website: We Hate This!

Welcome to Finalcom's World Wide Website

"Your ticket to the sh*ttiest part of the WWW"

Well now, it's been ELEVEN FUTHER MUCKIN YEARS since Finalcom opened our WWW site to show off this horrid, abandoned, crap that nobody cares about. We're not under construction, we just suck. Same old crap, same bad HTML, but with HORRIBLY WEAK UPDATES. Good thing this stuff is free.

Why are you still reading this?

WHO ARE WE?

We're Finalcom. The last resort for media. If this was the last place on earth to be entertained besides watching the latest "Chawala Infomercial" or "bad movie of the week about old tv stars". Come here and see nothing. We like it that way.

Really, elsewhere would be a good place to be.

WHY FOR DO WE WASTE THE SPACE?

Actually, our intentions since forming the "Finalcom Interstellar Fart Conglomeration Group and Nail Salon" was to further clog the search engines with obscure stuff that our founder Brother Bluto couldn't find on the web back around 10/10/96. The grand illusion faded. Who has time to work on a website?

We told you this wasn't important. You can go now.

HAVE WE ACCOMPLISHED THIS?

No. Who gives a rats ass? Worm search engines have found us with no effort at all. Let's hope they don't "belly-up" leaving all those over-educated I.T. gurus without their $500 chairs! "We do it all for you Rod!"

Zayres Frequent "Z" Card! Get Yours Today.

FINALCOM's CREED:

DIE RETAIL DIE!!!!

RIP:Comp USA , Frank's Nursery , Marshall Field's (Macys? Never!) ,Kaufmanns (Macys? Never!) , Lazurus (Macys? Never!) , Fashion Shoppes , Camelot Music , Galyans , WB Studio Stores , Zany Brainy , Ames , Service Merchandise , NWS Olsen , SUN TV , Northeast , Tokyo Shapiro , Furrow , American Appliance , Hills , Curtis Mathes ,Eckherd , U-Rent Um ,G. C. Murphys , Builders Square , Clarkins , Video Concepts , Fisher's Big Wheel ,Caldor , Hechinger ,Media Play , Venture ,Phar-mor , Children's Palace , The Wholesale Club , Kiddie City , Cunningham's ,Cooks , Rink's ,Uncle Bills , Ontario , Clarks , U.S. Merchandise , Jacobsens , Fretter , Giant Tiger , Home Centers , Higbees , Halles , Hornes , Bradlees, Leader Drug,, Hyper Store ,Computer City , Revco , Best , S.S. Kresges , Montgomery Wards , Mace, Gold Circle , Gaylords, Bacons, Woolworths, Woolco, Zayre , Forest City , Handy Andy , Gray Drug , Luskins , Highland , Incredible Universe , HQ ..and many many more.

The Moral? Don't go into retail, you'll be sorry!

Tokyo Tech...at Shapiro Prices.

WHAT'S NEW? 02/10/08 Good day retail devotees. Geauga Dump has died (Geauga Lake is now just a water park for how long...) However, business is business. Not listed above are all the Macy's/May nameplates that died because of Macys. I don't list retail companies that haven't been in my life even remotely so Filenes fans, sorry. Also, grocery stores are left out too. Dunno. Who cares.

Okay...heres what be available to you over dey....

1. FINALCOM PHOTON Commence strategic maneuvers on audible command...

2. THE CARS Shameless opinions of Cars classic music. Why? I was wasting time.

3. SNEEZGARD TECH (Manufacturer of the world's finest sneezeguards)

4. RADIOLAWN Comedy. Humor. Editorial Nonsense. Musings. Comedy radio like you can't hear on broadcast radio. It's spicy, it's fun. Come enjoy original internet radio comedy that is new every two weeks! 140 Shows and still going?

OTHER CRAP WE HOPE TO BRING YOU:

ANTON FIGG'S HOT SOUP GARGLE

THE SHAGGY STUDIO CHIEF

NO MORE!!! BJ's WHOLESALE CLUB WARM PRETZEL CLUB (Bitch)

FAIRVIEW PARK MACdonalds

K-MART! DAYS ARE NUMBERED! ITS PARMA!

BD's MONGOLIAN: BEST DAMN FOOD ANYWHERE

JIMMY JOHNS: BEST DAMN SUBS ANYWHERE

CUMBERLAND BREWS: BEST DAMN MICROBREW

WHIRLING BOWL OF CHILI

WARREN JORDAN REUNION PAGE

JAZ MCKAY SON OF GOD!

STRAIGHT OUT OF LOW CAL: NO FAT, BETTER BRAIN

GEAUGA LAKE MEMORIAL PAGE #67365

All material on these pages would not and should not be repressed by any governmental agency anywhere in the world. Copyright infringement is your best entertainment value. They got a pepperbar. Denny Crane. Progressive Claims, how can I help? Very Old Bartons: Very Young Vomit. Nissan:Used. Puppy Linux: Linux for doggies. Hey Group! Cool it over dey! Free radio is creativity. You'll feel better, when you're on the air! Be a BA. Diet Coke:Burp. JJ's In NO? Be careful what you wish for..you might get it. Berger Des Pyranees: herding and pirating breed. Cedar Fair Rots. "The hip people are gonna see." Sheetz Sheetz Sheetz Sheetz "Ya'll don't have no McChicken for a dollar?" Ding ding wacky. Time out for fun.

DEESE PAGES LOVINGLY CREATED WITH HOT METAL 3.0 PRO. This is not an advertisement for it, it's merely what I use, being a very inept web page creator. It makes things so easy, even a dog could make a webpage...um...yeah.